jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
