I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
