Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
