her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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