Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
