I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
