Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
