he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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