fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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