idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
