She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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