11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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