Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
