found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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