Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize