Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
