I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
