So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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