Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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