using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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