Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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