party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
