Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I touched a dick in church today
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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