the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
