I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize