i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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