don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
