Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
