I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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