Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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