My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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