I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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