I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
