You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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