He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
