My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
