I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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