He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
