marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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