That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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