mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
