Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
