He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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