Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
