I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize