I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
