hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
