dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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