hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
