But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
