Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
