But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
