porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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