That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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