he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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