It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
