I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well I just put wine in my tea
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
