Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
