I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
