All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
