I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
