I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
