This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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