I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize