How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
