More tranny stories later!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
