the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
