I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
