So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize