If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
