wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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