Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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