I wish I only lived at night.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
