Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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