a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
