Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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