I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
