Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
