Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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