Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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